Been gone too long, but not without good stuff to share. Today, is the usual tidbit of quotes from our favorite Paper Company's Scranton Branch. Also, my daughter Shiloh (age 3.5) has really been dropping down some one-liners of her own, which I thought you all might get a kick out of. Enjoy! (and stay tuned for more hilarity coming soon)
March 2 - "I am taking responsibility. It is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car. I'm not superstitious. But I am a little stitious." (Michael)
March 3 - "They say if you're nervous around someone you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on. Or a funny coat." (Pam)
March 4 - "We had a foreign exchange student live with us when I was young. And we called him my brother and I thought that's what he was. Then he went home to what is now formerly Yugoslavia, taking all my blue jeans with him. I had to spend the entire winter in shorts. That is what Ryan is like. A fake brother who steals your jeans." (Michael)
March 10 - "Okay, this is Dwight's Second Life. He's on it all the time. So much so, that his little guy here has created his own little world. It's called 'Second Second Life' for those people who want to be removed even further from reality." (Jim)
March 11 - "That's how it goes sometimes...You lose everything, and everything falls apart, and eventually you die and no one remembers you." (Dwight)
March 12 - "Maybe there's some sort of animal that we could make a sacrifice to? Like a giant buffalo or some sort of monster, like something with the body of a walrus, with the head of a sea lion. Or something with the body of an egret, with the head of a meerkat. Or, just the head of a monkey with the antlers of a reindeer with the body of a porcupine." (Michael)
March 13 - "When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes...and I am always busy." (Jim)
March 14 - "Okay, the green bar is what you spend every month on stuff you need, like a car and a house...The red bar is what you spend on non-essentials, like magazines, entertainment, things like that...This scary black bar is what you spend on things that no one ever, ever needs. Like multiple magic sets, professional bass fishing equipment..." (Oscar)
March 16 - "Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked, I enjoy being liked, I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised." (Michael)
March 17 - "Darryl Philbin is the most complicated man that I have ever met. I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is this?" (Kelly)
SHILOH KATE BARTEE:
- "You broke my heart...and you broke my feelings."
- "You're the winner, congratulations!"
- "Not quite yet..." (when asked if she was ready for breakfast)
- "I want a puppy. I'll name it Minnie."
- "Maybe we can go to church today, okay, Mom?" (on a non-church day)
- "I have MAJOR boogers!"
- "Swiper the Fox...he's mean...he broke and crushed my heart."