Thursday, November 26, 2009

Weekly Office

October 23 - "Best ad ever: 'Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that--' I am totally blanking. What is the thing?...'Claude-Van-Damme'...'Hair-for-men'...'Poi-son-gas'...'Nu-tri-sweet'...It's got to rhyme with 'piece'...'Fan-cy-feast!' 'Break me off a piece of that Fan-cy-feast!' It's a cat food. Nailed it." (Andy)

October 24 - "Excuse me! If you can hear me, I would like you to look around at all these companies and know that none of them are good enough for you. H&R Block? Come on! I mean, I don't even know what they do. Frank Regan Funeral Home? Too much formaldehyde. The Air Force? Air Force is cool." (Michael)

October 26 - "I talked to her. Holly. Just pleasantries - nothing, you know, not like, do you want kids, or religion, or what side of the bed you want. Hey, I can take either side of the bed at this point." (Michael)

October 27 - "Mr. Scott, do you realize you just contradicted yourself. I did. Yes, you did. Can I go to the bathroom. No. I really have to, I've been drinking lots of water. You went five minutes ago. That wasn't to go to the bathroom, that was to get out of a question. You still have to answer it. First can I go to the bathroom. No." (Stenographer, during Michael's deposition)

October 28 - "Hey, how ya doin'? Listen, I don't think that a handsome, funny, smart, funny-looking kid like you should limit himself. You could be a classy janitor. Or a cashier with dignity. Or a migraine worker. A career in paper isn't for everyone. Maybe for you paper should be more of a hobby." (Michael)

October 29 - "I'll let you in on a little secret: I have very much been looking forward to this moment. Very, very much. I have been steeped in anticipation. Toby has been cruisin' for a bruisin' for twelve years. And I am now his cruise director. And my name is Captain Bruisin'." (Michael)

October 30 - "No, no, no. Pam, let [the phones] ring. Let the bells of Dunder Mifflin chime out your love. 'Cause this is really good. This is really good. My heart soars with the eagle's nest." (Michael)

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