Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Office Rolls On...

I'm not sure how many of you are actually getting some dynamite enjoyment out of reading these, but I'll tell you...with all the twists and complications of The Michael Scott Paper Company, I don't know what to believe anymore. So, for the moment, I'm resting in the daily funnies of my 2009 calendar. Enjoy!

April 9 - "All right, let me ask you this. Tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this is before I even heard of one or seen one. I just drew a picture of a horse that could fly over rainbows and had a huge spike in its head. I was five, five years old...couldn't even talk yet." (Michael)

April 10 - "I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had velcroed under my desk." (Dwight)

April 13 - "A woman shouldn't have to be hit by a car to learn that she might have rabies. But that is where we are in America and that does not sit right with me. And that's why I am hosting a fun race for the cure of rabies. To raise awareness of the fact that there is a cure for rabies. A disease that has largely been eradicated in the United States but not many people know that. (Michael)

April 14 - "[Monopoly] is nuts. Nobody just picks up 'get out of jail free' cards. Those things cost thousands." (Creed)

April 15 - "Ryan thinks that technology is the answer. Well guess what? I just drove my car into a lake...Why, you might ask, did I do this? Well, because of a machine. A machine told me to drive into a lake and I did it. I did it because I trusted Ryan's precious technology, and look where it got me." (Michael)

April 16 - "When I was younger, I always wanted to be an actor in commercials. Then I realized I had a brain." (Oscar)

April 17 - "You cannot take the hilarious black guy from the office. Stanley is a part of what makes the office so extraordinary. The bluesy wisdom. The sassy remarks. The crossword puzzles, his smile, those big watery red eyes. I don't know how George Bush did it when Colin Powell left." (Michael)

April 19 - "Every time Michael's in a meeting, he makes me come in and give him a Post-it note telling him who is on the phone. I did it once, and he freaked out, he loved it so much. The thing is, he doesn't get that many calls, so he has me make them up every ten minutes." (Pam)

April 20 - "What am I doing? I am blowing Dodge. I'm getting out of town. Whatever you call it, I am running away from my responsibilities. It feels good." (Michael)

April 21 - "I know you are probably scared of people seeing your fat legs in shorts...Well, back in olden times, a large, fat person, like this, was a person of power, a person who had money and could buy food. A person of respect like the regional manager of the day." (Michael, to Kevin)

April 23 - "I'm excited about doing the ad, but I'm not really used to doing videos with so many people around." (Meredith)

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