Chicken Poop #3

The Five W's of Motherhood

Mrs. Jane Robbins, a former Metropolitan Reporter for the Flint (Mich.) Journal, came up with an interesting concept. Why not apply the famed "Five W's" of journalism to real life? As a young reporter she had been taught that all the pertinent facts needed for a story could be learned by asking six simple questions: who, what, when, where, why, and sometimes, how. Jane Robbins realized that by asking these same questions of her teenage daughter, she could obtain all the important information any mother needs to know about her child's welfare:

-Who are you going with?
-What are you going to do?
-When will you be home?
-Where will you be?
-Why don't you call me and let me know you're there?
-How are you getting home?

Unfortunately, when asked these questions, her fifteen-year-old daughter, Tamara, responded with the "Five W's" of teenagers:

-Who died and made you Queen of the World?
-What do you want from my life?
-When are you going to stop treating me like a child?
-Where do you get off telling me what to do?
-Why can't you just leave me alone?
-How can you do this to me?

Jane Robbins abandoned her idea altogether.