Thursday, October 15, 2009

Weekly Office

August 1 - "Hello Oscar Meyer Weiner Lover. I bet that you have a bunch of very liberal girl type friends, who trust you implicitly, because they know you'd never touch 'em because of your...condition." (Michael)

August 3 - "Today, I'm headed over to the job fair at Valley View High School to find some new interns. Wanna get some fresh blood. I'm intern-shopping. Um, youthanize this place." (Michael)

August 5 - "There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, 'What if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?' He said, 'If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.'" (Pam)

August 6 - "When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then we you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure, who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn't want to have kids, who had it reversed back? Snip, snap, snip, snap, snip, snap! I did. You have no idea, the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person. And I bought this condo to fill with children." (Michael)

August 7 - "Oh my God. Pam, those [glasses] make you look so ugly. Pam, in order to get hotter, you take glasses off. You're moving in the wrong direction." (Michael)

August 12 - "I think I'm being very clear what I'm asking. Would an average-size rowboat support her without capsizing? It bothers me that you are not answering the question." (Michael)

August 14 - "Well, this is what happened: Ryan's big project was the website, which wasn't doing well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice--once as 'office' sakes, and once as 'website' sales. Which is what we refer to in the business as misleading the shareholders. Another good term is fraud. The real crime, I think, was the beard." (Oscar)

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