Weekly Office

September 23 - "Hi, yeah, right, okay. Well, they fired a female Toby. Good for the world. Thank you, God, for creating two of you. Here's how things work here. My job is to make the office fun. Your job is to make the office lame. And we have an eternal struggle, you and I, and only one of us can be the winner. Spoiler alert: I'm going to win." (Michael)

September 24 - "I just, I don't understand what is preventing you from laughing this off and giving me a big hug." (Michael, to Meredith after her with his car and cracking her pelvis)

September 25 - Darryl: "Well see. In the gang world, we use something called fluffy fingers." Michael: "What is that?" Darryl: "That's where somebody really gets up in your face, you just start tickling him." Michael: "Really?" Darryl: "Yeah. And then he starts tickling you, and pretty soon you laughing and hugging...'fore you know it, you've forgotten the whole thing, and you all can just go to church and get an ice cream cone."

September 27 - "Thanks to Toby, I have a strong prejudice against human resources. I believe that the department is a breeding ground for monsters. What I failed to consider, though, is that not all monsters are bad. Like E.T. Is Holly our extra-terrestrial? Maybe. Or maybe she's just an awesome woman from this planet." (Michael)

September 29 - "People assume I'm great at golf. But like everybody, I hated golf lessons when I was a kid. So I used to just hang out with the sailing club instead. Got my knot on." (Andy)

September 30 - "What is wrong with this woman? She is asking about stuff that's nobody's business. What do I do? Really, what do I do here? I should have written it down. Qua-something. Qua. Quash. Quarbo. Quabity. Quabity assuance. No. No, no, no, but I'm getting close. (Creed)

October 1 - "I've got a mad-lib for you. A stupid, idiotic, numbskull named Andy Bernard sold his Xterra to a smart and capable man named Dwight. This is shaping up to be an awesome day for Dwight." (Dwight)