Getcha Some Office

Friends, the day has arrived. We've been waiting for far too long to howl at one Michael Scott, Regional Manager of the Scranton Office of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. So, in honor of the Season Premiere of The Office this evening, I'm debuting 7 quotes from past seasons which are simply meant to wet your pallet for tonight. As a followup to this, expect this every Thursday this fall as the show rolls on. Laugh away.

May 28 - "The warehouse got a ping-pong table last week. So now Jim comes down and plays with Darryl. Sometimes I bring him juice. My boyfriend is twelve." (Pam)

May 29 - Michael: "This is ironic, isn't it? I am in the hospital for not getting enough water; you are in for a disease that causes the fear of water." Meredith: "I am in because you hit me with your car."

June 2 - "Michael has asked Pam and me to dinner at least nine times and every time we've been able to get out of it. But I gotta give him credit-he got me-because I'm starting to suspect that there was no assignment from corporate." (Jim)

June 3 - "I work hard all day. I like knowing there's going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break." (Kevin)

June 4 - "Several hours in, it's time for me to find some nourishment. Now, these woods are full of creatures that can sustain human life. Things like chipmunk, squirrel, wild boar, venison, jackalope, are all ingenious to this part of Pennsylvania." (Michael)

June 5 - "Angela is worse than usual lately and we have a party to throw, so I googled, 'How to deal with difficult people,' and I got all of this. So we're gonna try out some new things today." (Phyllis)

June 23 - "Toby is great, but he can be a little much sometimes. 'I don't see the harm in that...' C'mon. It's just a cake, Toby. Go mumble somewhere else and stop staring at my girlfriend. That's all, I'm sorry, I'm just venting. But why does he have to walk so slow?" (Jim)