Thursday, March 4, 2010

Hoorary! (we can now resume...) Weekly Office

February 9 - Kelly: "Why is it okay for smokers to take breaks all the time? If I want to go outside and hang out once an hour, then I'll just take up smoking. I'll do it. I don't care." Meredith: "I'll smoke with you. I got a bag of cigars in my purse."

February 12 - "Just about everybody in this office is single right now, including me. And everyone is experiencing an incredible amount of emotional pain. Especially me, because of my great capacity for emotion. And it is my first Valentine's Day since Holly so I think that I am well qualified to understand that these people need to be protected from having love shoved into their faces." (Michael)

February 14 - "These people need love. And I am going to get it for them. Who cares if we sell a little bit less paper today. A great boss cares more about the happiness of his employees than anything else. I am going to be Cupid. And I'm going to shoot my sparrow at unsuspecting victims and they are going to get hit and say, 'I'm in love.' I was hit by Cupid's sparrow. A funny little bird but he gets the job done." (Michael)

February 15 - Andy: "I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family? Boom!" Oscar: "Exactly, Andy." Andy: "Yeah. I took Intro to Philosophy twice. No big deal." Dwight: "That's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male."

February 16 - "Okay fine! You know what? Phyllis did injure herself. But she injured herself having fun. And I don't think she would trade that memory for anything." (Michael)

February 17 - "Michael had chicken pot pie for lunch. Actually, let me rephrase that. Michael had an entire chicken pot pie for lunch, and let me be more specific--Michael ate an entire family-sized chicken pot pie for lunch and then he promptly fell asleep. So we're all trying to be very quiet so as to not wake him up before 5 p.m., which actually should be in ten minutes." (Jim)

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