Thursday, March 11, 2010

Weekly Office

February 18 - "This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to randomly select three names and these three people will get liposuction. Uh, Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin. You will be responsible for your own medical bills." (Dwight)

February 19 - Michael: "Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is in this country?" Dwight: "Shotgun weddings." Jim: "That's not what that is." Creed: "Fright. Being scared to death."

February 21 - "Normally I don't condone leaving early but I have an appointment with the horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, I don't know. No, I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken." (Dwight)

February 22 - Andy: "I don't know if there's any one place that has all these things." Angela: "That's not my problem." Andy: "Thousand-year-old church in the continental United States. There has to be a rainbow, twenty-four-hour veterinarian on call." Angela: "This is very important to me, so--I have work to do. Just do it."

February 23 - Jim: "Oh, right, some drunk guy hit on Pam last year. Said he was grabbing her for balance." Pam: "Yeah. You don't grab these for balance." Jim: "Uh..."

February 24 - "I have taken my downstairs office and I have turned it into a place to hang out, a place where unattractive and attractive people can get together to meet, to greet, to see the ones that you love, to love the ones that you see..." (Michael)

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